Monday, January 29, 2018

My Daughter Was Shot And Suspended

Wow, it has been so long that I have blogged on a regular base. I am having a hard time deciding on how to start this blog post. I am nervous, kinda scared, and overwhelmed all at the same time. I am also excited, eager, and ready to get started. many emotions all coming at once. If the title alone didn't draw you, I am hoping my story will. Just please read all the way through before coming to a conclusion. If you are sensitive or get offended easily, I suggest you back out of reading this now. Just remember I did warn you.

Backstory: For those that don't know, my daughter is 17 years old. I will refer to her as Emily. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and Bi-polar. She does not have a hearing issue but literally screams instead of talks to anyone in my household. You can ask her not to scream. Her response is to scream louder replying she isn't screaming. She tries to control everything and everyone. I understand this is a reaction from a past experience. To catch everyone up to date, April of 2017 I found two videos of my now ex-fiance messing with my daughter. Come to find out it was happening for a few years. Around the time the violence in her started towards me. She told no one of it happening because he bought her off with gifts on top of threatening her. I called the police as soon as I found out. To date, she fears the day he gets out of prison. As she believes he will kill her. 

It all started Thursday, January 25th, 2018. All day my daughter has been wound up. I recently found out she had stopped taking her medication prescribed by her psychiatrist for the past month. Can you imagine a 17 yr old bipolar, AHDH hormonal girl on no medication who has been on medication since she was five years old? Mood swings? Yep. Bad behavior? Yep. Taking her anger out on me? Yep again.

All day it has been nothing but drama, screaming, and commotion throughout the household. If my daughter wasn't trying to push my buttons she was back messing with her brother, cousin, or one of their friends. She refuses to go bed. I keep finding her in the boy's room arguing with them. My son yelled at her to get out. I am not exactly sure what time it was. I knew it was past midnight on Friday morning. I hear the boys telling her to get out of their room once again. I go back there and my son threatens to shoot my daughter with a bb gun if she doesn't get out. It has small round metal pellets in it. I, of course, step in and say don't shoot your sister. No matter what she says or does there is no reason for that. 

I really don't remember what the bickering was all about. I do remember the bb gun going off by accident. One metal pellet did hit my daughter on her right middle finger. Ricocheted and hit my daughter in her other hand on another finger, next thing I remember is seeing the blood and hearing her piercing scream. 

Oh, course my son is apologizing to his sister and trying to see the damage he did. She didn't want to be touched. I somehow got her calmed down enough to allow my son to take care of her wounds. As I pointed out he caused the wounds. He should be the one to take care of them and clean them up. I thought it was only fair as a consequence besides me taking the bb gun. My son is 19 years old. My nephew who lives with me and shares a room with my son is 17 years old. By the time everything was taken care of it was 3:30 AM. I told the teens to lay down and get a few hours of sleep. I would stay up and get them up for school at 6:30 AM.

6:30 came around all too soon, I got the teens up. My daughter complained her fingers hurt. I explained it was normal because of what happened. As she went off to school. I was still wide awake, so I started doing housework. I laid down around 11 AM. 

I was out cold from all the stress the night before. I never heard my phone ring. I was awoken when my teens come through the door after getting home from school at 3:15 PM. Both talking fast and loud at the same time. The jist I got was my daughter was suspended for three days from school.

My daughter has said all year was going to get suspended. I know she has been trying to push buttons to see how far she could go before being suspended. As soon as I heard from my teens, I called the Vice principal up to talk to him. Since he is the one that suspended her.

My daughter by nature is a loud person. She talks and screams loud. She was talking to a couple of friends at lunch. Like most teens away from home, she was cursing. She was no exception. She curses like a sailor no matter how times I ask her not to. The more I ask her not to the more she curses. If I don't say anything, she says I allow it. Ugh! With her, I can't win. It is always an argument.

This time she happens to be loud enough that the school cop heard her cursing in his office. Either her voice carried or she was right by his office I am not sure. I just knew she was talking to her friends at lunch. To put a long story short, she was asked to calm down and stop cursing. By this time she was having a panic attack. As the cop was yelling at her an coming towards her. She refused to move out of her seat or listen to him. I guess the cop started to walk away when he heard my daughter laugh. This mad his mad and the Vice Principal was pulled in to all of this. The cop tried to say my daughter said something which she claims she didn't. She yelled back all she did was laugh. That if he was going to tell a story to tell the truth and quit making things up. Because of this, she was getting suspended. When she heard that she cursed what the f-word. That got her three days suspension. It didn't matter she was bipolar and having a panic attack. 

Someone let my son Thomas Lee know his sister was in the office getting suspended. He went in there to see what was going on. Once again the school had my daughter talking to a cop without my knowledge or presents. The Vice Principal explained because she said the f-word at a cop and school official she was getting suspended for three days. Her suspension papers state she was suspended for disrupting the school. 

My son noticed my daughter was having a panic attack when the cop was screaming at my daughter and coming at her. He really thought my daughter was going to flip. Because she freaks out when people yell and come at her. As from her past, that was one way her abuser controlled her. None of this was taken in to account. 

The Vice Principal said there were consequences for my daughter's action and she can't use what happened to her in the past as an excuse to misbehave and curse. I think he made an example out of her because he didn't like her and doesn't understand her mental illness or what having a panic attack is like. 

He could have suspended for ten days and sent her jail but only gave her three days. I have papers to sign and can possibly fight this. By the time it is done, her suspension will already be up. One thing will be done is she will be evaluated by the school psyche to see if she has bipolar. Which her pysche has already diagoinsed her with it. Something about being added to her IEP or something. I am not sure. I am going to call her resource teacher tomorrow to see exactly why it means. If it is going to hurt my daughter I am not doing it.

Sorry if I sound like I am rambling and all over the place. I have been up all night. It is 3:29 AM. I am still stressed out from my daughter flipping out and having another episode last night. That is another story for a later blog post. 

Negatives: suspension, mental illness, ignorance of mental illness and panic attacks, screaming, being shot, lack of sleep

Positive: Could of went to jail and got 10 days suspension. Instead got three days suspension 

Can you think of any more negatives or positives I can update the list? If this happened to you, how would you handle it? Any advice you can give me?

All photos from, a free use photo sharing website.


  1. I do understand how you feel, my sister is bi-polar. With people who are mentally ill life is unpredictable, especially when they are off their medication. Just hang in there and do the best you can.

    I would allow her to be evaluated at school so the cops and Principals know her condition and hot to better handle her if something like this happens again.

    1. I did. I signed the papers and ended having my son take them in. I don't think another psyche should evaluate her. She has one of her own. I would prefer they give me papers to have them fill out. As I refuse to allow the school one treat her. But will allow them to trade info with her long time therapist and psyche with no issues if need be.

      Unpredictable is a great way of describing life with mental illness. I never know from one minute to the next what is going to happen. I have been spending more time in more away from her.

  2. Oh my God Sandy. You have been through a lot of stressful thing about your daughter. I don't think I can handle that if I were the mother of your daughter. I hope your daughter will take her medicine.

    1. I pray she takes her medication as well. But she won't. Her psyche will not be happy when he finds out she has been lying about taking it. It is drama and I never know what will happen but something always does. It wears me out doing everything on my own.

  3. What a rough time you're having! I hope the school is able to help you sort everything out. As your daughter is struggling with her bipolar disorder, I would hope that's at least noted in relation to the incident.

    Hang in there!

  4. Sounds all too familiar as to how my 8 yr old grandson is. He's been suspended from school for his outbursts a few times. At one point they sent him to the alternate school.
    They all know what he is diagnosed with and I do give the school officials credit for trying to work with him.

  5. WOW, it's too bad the schools don't take into consideration each child and if they know of problems, they should try to calm the student down and show compassion. On a positive note, YOU'RE BACK BLOGGING!!


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